why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
