how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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