what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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