if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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