Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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