Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
