I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
