I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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