i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
