I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
you guys were way drunker than both of me
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
