she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
