everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Randomize
