The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
