She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
His nipple licking is glorious
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