No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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