2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
