ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
