real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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