we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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