I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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