So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Who died my cat blue again?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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