Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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