I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
