You're so nebulous sometimes
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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