So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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