So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Randomize
