i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize