The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
