Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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