Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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