it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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