My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
