just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
