Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Randomize
