Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
