So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
