PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
