I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
