Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Randomize
