you guys were way drunker than both of me
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
