I think my fart just growled at me.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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