don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
