I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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