I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize