this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
