Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
