I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
