uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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