Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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