I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
