Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
