Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
