that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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