I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
